Still Here and trying

I will have to admit that I have taken more than a little sabbatical from World of Warcraft and I’ll try to get that going again. However, with the world going to hell in handbasket, I’ve been hunkered down at home and avoiding the whole thing as much as possible. Battle depression, anger as well as disappointment with things but I think I have finally reached a stalemate with things.

2020 definitely sucked and I hope that it is going to get better in 2021. Everyone is celebrating the fact that we have the vaccine now and that’s all good, I suppose. However, I’m over 70 years old and I can’t go stand in line or even drive to where I had to stand in line for the shot, so, I’m waiting for my doctor to start giving it out – I can manage to make it there.

OOC – 2020 – What’s Next?

I know that the last few months have not been exactly what I would refer to as being wonderful, however, I think it might get better one of these days. I’m hopeful even if it is hard to maintain a positive attitude. I have been battling depression on so many levels.

I actually let a bunch of my World of Warcraft accounts die a horrible death because I haven’t felt much like playing. Just call it health and mental reasons that I don’t seem to have any control over at the moment.

I guess I could say that being cooped up in my house all of the time is really starting to tell on me and I wish that I could feel happier about it than I do right now. Well, I do feel better about it because I was finally able to replace my furnace and my air conditioner – there’s nothing like sitting in your loft trying to write or use your computers with sweat running down your face and body – nope, it wasn’t fun and it did make me quite ill because I couldn’t keep myself hydrated.

I’ve cried, ranted and raved and run the full gambit of emotions when one feels like they are totally trapped in something that they have no control over. I don’t want to go outside and talk to people because I can’t stand wearing the masks – haven’t even gone out on the patio to enjoy the fresh air because it makes me feel even lonelier. It’s really hard to stay up-beat when you watch the news and see all of the stupidity out there – “hey, we’re not ashamed of our mentally inadequate people – we elect them to office or sit them on the front porch with a can of beer.” No offense intended but I have low tolerance for “stupid.” I had a neighbor go outside and scream at some children for making too much noise – they were just being kids and not even loud – they were in front of my house and they weren’t bothering me.

I’m sure that Kindle Books loves me to no end at this point because I’ve read roughly 50 books since the start of the year and Amazon has got to love me with the way that I have been streaming their movies – Netflix is my go-to for the more adult movies and such. I mean, watching Henry Cavil running around in tight pants and killing monsters snaps me out of my depression pretty good. Hey, I’m old but that doesn’t mean I have lost my imagination. I’m almost embarrassed to say that I have been binge reading a bunch of romance novels (bodice rippers) that seem to keep me occupied quite nicely.

The plan is still to get some discipline back in my life and start writing again and playing WoW – you never know, I might make it this time.

See you in Azeroth!!

OOC – Trying to take it all in steps – I’m still here

May 21, 2020

 Well, I can honestly say that 2020 has been the worst year of my life – I have never been through anything like this in my entire life and that is a lot of years.  Just hit Level 71 yesterday and that is a lot of years to have lived through in this world.

I think that everyone is trying their very best to get through everything and trying to put a positive spin on things for the most part, however, I will have to admit that it is not an easy thing to deal with.  I think that I have had more mood swings than a menopausal woman with this lockdown – let’s not even go where I get so depressed that I want to curl up in a little ball and not move for days.  Nope, I am not in denial of the realities of the events going on, however, I do not want to deal with it sometimes.  I guess I could be denying things a bit because I have stopped watching broadcast television and avoid it like the plague because it just makes me angry.  I know that sounds irrational, however, it is how I get when I start watching the news.

Still trying to play a little bit more in World of Warcraft and reading my Kindle eBooks and just trying to keep my mind busy with things.   Yes, I still miss my family terribly, but I know that they are safe and healthy where they are, I could not say that would be a thing here in Colorado.  Of course, I live in Denver and that is a crowded Metro area.  Oh well, we are all just trying to survive at this point and trying to remain as optimistic as we can. Yes, we weathered the toilet paper hoarding crowd and now we’re going to be dealing with the folks trying to buy as much meat as they can – hope they have freezers that are going to endure the electrical outages that we get here in the summer months.

My health still is not all that great due to long-term illnesses and my vision is what it is until I can get them taken care off – it’s an elective surgery and I am going to have to wait a while before I venture near a hospital at this point.

I just wanted to drop a few lines here to let people know that I have not kicked the bucket, just not as active as I have been in the past.   I am trying to get things organized again because I had to do a total reboot of my game machine after I started having multiple problems – needed to dump some of the garbage anyway.  Got some new headsets that help with my tinnitus and vertigo, so, I hope to be using my computers more now.  Wish me luck.

I do hope that all my fellow gamers are doing well and hanging in there. I know that we have been in training for social distancing for most of our lives, however, I do not think that we knew how handy it would become for us to survive this hot mess.

See you all in Azeroth!!

OOC – Here I still sit…

April 1, 2020

I do believe that I am either becoming reconciled or just adjusting to the fact that I don’t have control over anything other than just choosing to accept it not.  I know that I have pretty much been a reclusive sort of individual for quite a few years and since I have the responsibility of taking care of my spouse, it doesn’t allow much free time to get out and socialize anyway.  However, I am an observer and just keep my distance as much as I can. One thing about being a gamer is that you have adapted to this “social distancing” long ago due to your habitual video games.  Gotta love it.

Of course, the quarantines and stay-at-home thing just applies to some people – I live in an HOA and we have construction workers doing work on our houses while we’re stuck inside and getting the benefits of our noise and activity.  That’s okay, at least I know that life is still going on – I’ll just have to sit this one out.  It does appear as though this will be going on for some time because of the restrictions with the COVID stuff.  Oh well, it should add to the entertaining side of life.

I have running around on alts and playing a hodge-podge of characters in WoW.  Just trying to get involved in some fun stuff and generally trying to keep my spirits up.  I wasn’t much of a social butterfly to begin with, but it was nice to see people walking by occasionally, however, now, it’s unusual to see people outside at all. 

Anyway, getting back to the game, I’ve been having some fun and hiding out with my lowbies is kind of relaxing.  Occasionally I do get immersed a little more in the game than I have in the last year – guess that is a good thing on some levels.  Might mean that my writer’s block is on its way out, I hope.

Naturally, I do have my usual interruptions and that does break the chain of thought sometimes.  I’m fortunate that all my kids are grown and gone from the area, however, I still have my husband that keeps me busy with his needed caregiving.  I must say that there are days when it seems to be rather over-whelming to me at times.

I have learned more about shopping online and having the patience of Job when I’m waiting on deliveries – toilet paper is a commodity that seems to be nonexistent these days.  I ordered toilet paper and it might get here by May 20th – it’s being shipped from China, of all the places.   Yeah, made me giggle a bit on that one with considering all the stuff that is going on now.

Our “Stay at Home” order for our area in Denver has been extended to April 30th and may get extended again.  I do feel sorry for the people that have lost their jobs and for the businesses that are trying so valiantly to stay afloat.  I think the economic devastation is going to be worse than the virus, however, we’ve learned to adapt to things and will continue to do so.

Well, enough of my rambling thoughts and just trying to get warmed up for some writing.

See you all in Azeroth.

OOC – Still Here

March 22, 2020

I will have to admit that it has been a while since I have written anything at all, however, there hasn’t been a whole lot going on in RL nor in the gaming adventures – just a muddling along.  Naturally, I’m only kidding because it has just been insane with the way that things are going these days.

I live in a city where all of the bars, restaurants and any gathering events are strictly out of the question with this blasted virus.  Forget about shopping for anything at the grocery because it has been struck with the people doing the hoarding thing.  I do all of my shopping online and have it delivered for the most part , so, there is that benefit of living in a city, however, when there isn’t what you need at the store, no sense in spending the money.  Oh well, one of the things that has disappeared is cat food and cat litter – no where to be found.  Well, my kitties will eat a little human food if push comes to shove.

I hope that everyone is doing okay out there and are staying safe from illnesses that seem to be so prevalent right now.  Yes, I am concerned and worried, however, there is only so much you can do to protect yourself and others.

I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like this pandemic in my lifetime, so, I guess we’ll all have to be a bit wary of everything and everyone that we might meet.  Stay safe all and keep those prayers going for each other.

OOC – Here I sit

January 7, 2020

Well, I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to sit down and write something and have ended up not doing a thing other than write for a few minutes and then close it all out.  One never knows how you’re going to feel at my age from one hour to the next.    I can’t tell you how many times I have started on this same page, deleted it and started it over again with a new date.

I will have to admit that I haven’t felt all too well physically since before Halloween and it’s been one thing after another, depression, colds, flu and the winner was the flu for Christmas.  I’m still getting over that round of fun and it may take me a while but I’m sure I will feel better eventually.

Yes, this was my first holiday season without any family here in Colorado, so, it was a bit daunting and devastating all at the same time.   We really don’t have any relatives here anymore that we’ve associated with for years – I have zero relatives up here and my husband has a few but I think they had a bit of a falling out years ago and have never mended fences at all. Oh well, I’m sure that happens in a lot of families over time.  I guess I can willingly admit that I felt more than a little depressed and it did seem like I caught every cold that came down the pike – I’m the only one in the household that goes into stores or anything like that because I can move easier and faster than my better half – my immune system has never been awesome, however, I am trying to get to the point that I don’t catch a cold when I go up to the mailbox and fetch the mail.

I’m going to try to get some of the stuff written again, no promises.  I just must force myself back into my habits again.  It doesn’t do any good to just sit here and wish things were different.

See you all in Azeroth.

OOC Things Do Change

October 27, 2019

Yep, took some time off from everything, just had too much RL going on for me to keep up with.  I got a bug of some kind that took the starch out of my sails for a good long time plus, had to deal with a few other things.  At my age, you’re just happy some days that you wake up.

My son and his family moved out of state and that was an emotional trauma that put me in the dumper of depression for a while but it’s not the end of the world.  I still talk to him and catch up with him on Facebook now and again.  It’s lonely without seeing our grandchild, however, I’m sure that we will see them all again sometime in the future.  He sure picked a great time to get out of Colorado because our weather has been more than a little bizarre of late.   Snow one day, hot as Hades the next and now we’re in the deepfreeze until Tuesday or Wednesday.  He was having problems finding employment and decided that he would try some where else where the cost of living isn’t nearly as high, can’t blame him because it is a struggle for us on our limited income.  Wish we could have gone with them, but my husband will not leave Colorado for anything, it’s the only place he’s ever lived and has no desire to see anything else.

Just started playing a bit in the last few days and I must admit that it was tough because I have no one to play with currently with the family being so far away and they don’t have internet just yet.  Oh well, I’m sure that it will be okay, but it does seem strange to be so far away from them.  I’ll live, I’m sure but it just feels weird not to have them here.   Just thought I would check in and let people know that I’m still alive and will once again struggle my way back into my creativity level for a while.

See you all in Azeroth!!

OOC – Trying to get back on track

September 8, 2019

Well, had a few days of not feeling all that great and didn’t play all that much because I was just not in the mood and wanted to lay on the couch and sleep most of the time away.  It happens and I have just learned how to accept it.  Now, I’m feeling a bit better – I think its weather related to be quite honest.

There are times that my loft can turn into an oven even with the AC running because of the skylight with the sun coming in.  I used to love that skylight because it enabled me to use some natural light when I was drawing and painting.  With my eyesight going wonky, I don’t do either of those things much anymore, I keep trying without much success but I’m not ready to toss all of that aside just yet.  Of course, all my computers are in the loft as well and they can crank out some considerable heat sometimes.  Add 100F on the outside of the house and it’s rather toasty up here.  Oh well, I hope that part of season is finished now, and I don’t have to feel like I’m in a sauna. 

I’ve been busy getting my computers set up and tweaking them here and there to get them all running the way that I want them too.  Hey, not being computer savvy, it is usually a hit or miss thing for me, but I think I have everything that I want working now, so, ready to sit here and start getting myself back into that thing like a schedule.

I always used to write during the morning and listen to some music while I was doing it – well, that stereo died a few years a go and I’m not using my tablet to do that for me.  Hey, it works, and I don’t blow the neighbors out of their units – that has got to be an improvement. If I want to blow the cobwebs out, I can hook my tablet up to my speakers on the computer and it works quite well.

Just celebrated my 40th Wedding Anniversary and I’m still sitting here in a state of shock.  I can’t believe that the years have zoomed by quite that fast, but I guess that they have.  My son is getting closer to 50, so, that’s another dead give away to the fact that time is going by at a rapid rate.  Yes, he is from a previous marriage, however, he looks more like his stepfather than he does me which has always been the joke of the family.  At least we’ve all lasted this long and not many folks can say that sort of thing these days either.

Yes, I have started playing Classic a little bit, but I will have to admit that I am in retail more than I am in Classic.  I did it when it was “new”, and I’ll go back and visit a bit but I’m not going to dedicate myself to it like some of my friends and acquaintances have.  I got spoiled with all the neat stuff in retail and that’s where all my shinnies are.  Besides, I’m one of those silly folks that likes to play Blood Elves a lot and I’m based in Horde heavily.  I still play Alliance and my heart will always be on that side of the factions.  Let’s just say that I was heartbroken when Varian died and then the Tree – I don’t think I’ve gotten over that yet.  Oh yes, I’ve reset it so that I don’t see the burning stump anymore, but my heart just aches every time I go back there.    While everyone is running around in Classic, I’m playing my version in Retail by playing my little baby alts.  I am not about progress anyway, I’m about the journey.  If I am enjoying it and having fun, I don’t see any harm in it because it does help with my immersion and some of the unpublished writings.

I know that I am going to have to work on my self-discipline and start writing the way that I used too and fight my way back into the “work habit” that I was known for all those years ago and not let my depression and moods keep me from doing it.   Need to set up some new personal goals that I have some hope of fulfilling.  I’ve just been kind of wandering around in my head for the last couple of years and feeling a bit lost because I just don’t allow myself the time for the creativity that I once did.  Denying myself that outlet has been a big mistake and hasn’t eased my depression at all. 

Oh yes, been hiding out in my Kindle quite a bit with reading some of my old favorites and picking up a few new ones here and there.  That eases the mind and I do have the option of using the Audio when I choose.  Mostly, I’ll sit down and just read away and the hours fly by.   I know I put off getting a Kindle for a few years because I was being stubborn – hehe, now I can adjust the print and size, so, I’m back on reading with a great deal more comfort. 

Sorry for the running off at the mouth here, just writing down and trying to get used to putting my thoughts down instead of stacking off in the dusty corner of my mind that is labeled “For Later” because later never seems to arrive.

I am forcing myself back on the road and I hope that I can keep going and not hit too many roadblocks on the road.

OOC – The Joys Of Not Being Mechanically Inclined

August 16, 2019

I don’t usually procrastinate with things that I need to do; however, I am not known for my ability to put furniture together even with the instructions.  The last couple of items that I have been forced to deal with had no written instructions, just pictures.  Yes, it did give some hilarity when I discovered that some of the pictures had been printed backwards and didn’t do what you wanted it to do.  Oh well, good thing I figured that puzzle out.   I have a very large L-shaped executive desk in my loft that is filled with computer screens’.  I thought that my next best option would be to purchase a small folding desk to get things set up for the return of my Corsair.  If it overheats this time, I’ll be shocked because we’re almost sitting in the A/C vent.

Anyway, I wasn’t expecting the computer back until today or tomorrow and thought I had ample time to get my desk put together and get a few things sorted out or pitched out to the refuse bin.  Well, sweat was pouring and I was hip deep in instructions written in Russian and pictures that my granddaughter could’ve drawn – the doorbell rings and I beat feet down to the door.  Yep, computer got here on Wednesday, a day or two early.

You must understand that I am one of those people that can’t chew gum and walk at the same time without causing themselves physical damage.  Yesterday was the day the Lord Hath Made to Make Me feel silly.  I had this giant box in my living room that was the “folding desk” – well, dunno if they thought that was a joke to try to fold an elephant several times and stuff it in an envelope, however, it took me the better part of two hours to get the thing out of the box. I had box cutters, scissors and my bare hands – that was just for the box.  Well, got the box open and discovered that there was more packing in there than chips in a Lays potato chip bag.  I decided that I would leave that on there while I totally took aim at the stairs and lifted it one step at a time up a full flight of stairs – I don’t think my back and my feet will ever be the same.

Let me explain real quickly that I weigh less than a one hundred pounds and I’m less than five feet tall – that should explain the lifting up the stairs for some of you – plus, I’m 70 years old and your muscles don’t exactly stick with you at this age.  Back in the day before I hit my “Golden Years” I would just have hefted the thing up over my head and trotted up the stairs – old age ain’t grand.

Anyway, finally got the desk in position and got it all set up and then came more fun things – opening the new screen box (box cutter was downstairs and I didn’t want to go back after it), getting the keyboard out, mouse out, getting it all set up on the desk.  Awesome, we’re now cooking along.  Carried the computer upstairs and unpacked that to set it up.  My fun part was trying to locate another power strip to plug all this wonderful stuff into – that’s another story and I won’t go into that.

Got it all set up and discovered that built-in speakers on the display sucked swamp water, so, quickly ordered another set of speakers from Amazon.  Oh, the speakers work but it must be manually done on the display to turn up the sound and all that, doesn’t recognize the keyboard commands.  Those even came in a day early too, what a joy.

Now, you also must remember that my husband is physically challenged and couldn’t help with any of this, so, his suggestion after it was all finished was “Why didn’t you just carry the boxes up to the loft?” – I think I wanted to hit him, but I just smiled and nodded my head and replied, “I just wanted to do it my way.” 

The Corsair seems to be working just fine and the setup is kind of tiny but it’s big enough for what I want to do with it.   Of course, have the newest gaming machine in the place of honor and the potato right next to it.  The Corsair is sitting closer to the A/C vent and the stairs (there is a reason for that if it fails again).  One of these days I will take a picture of my setups and post it when I get enough energy stored up to give the place a good cleanup.  Now, if I have someone over, they can use one of the computers without taking my spot and using my comfy gaming chair.

LOL, I’m not sure why I wrote this, just needed to vent about my adventures of how I put things together.  Many pinched fingers and bruised toes later, it’s done and I’m very pleased with my efforts.  The fun thing is that it is all paid for and I am never going to buy another piece of equipment – that’s the plan, anyway.

See you all in Azeroth.

OOC – Still Having Fun

August 13, 2019

I will have to admit that I was one of those silly people that sat there for quite a while and finally got the names that I wanted to play in Classic.  I do intend to play a bit of it but I’m not dedicating all of game time to that endeavor because I have too many characters in retail to let it just sit idly by.  I’m happy that I got my original names from Classic and I went totally Alliance.  I honestly don’t know how much time I will spend in Classic because I know how it was when it was current, and I have been spoiled by the retail game now.

I did start out playing Alliance back in the day and stayed in that group for roughly five years before moving my characters from IceCrown to Wrymrest Accord.   I might still be on my original server except for five years I played a male character and didn’t use Voice Chat at all until three days before I left the server and the fertilizer hit the fan when they discovered I was female.  Looking back on it now, it is kind of sad but that’s okay.  My son had told me to play a male character and to not use the chat because it was my very first MMO and I wasn’t all that savvy with the internet back in 2005.  To be exact the only game I ever really played was TSO (The SimsOnline) from Beta until they closed the servers – that’s when I went to playing WoW.   I had tons of fun and made a lot of friends on IceCrown or I thought they were friends until they found out I was a female – no one ever asked me if I was female or male and I didn’t bother to tell them.  How well would that have gone over – “Oh, by the way, I’m a girl.”

Moved as Alliance to Wrymrest and found that the RP wasn’t all that grand and couldn’t find a decent guild to hang onto.  My son has always played Horde and had a guild that he belonged too, so, I faction changed (had to earn all my reps again, which I didn’t mind) and that’s where I have been since then.  It’s been fun, made more friends and just kind of settled in on Wrymrest and I doubt that I’ll move anytime soon.

I’m just enjoying my time on the game as I can and waiting for Corsair to ship my computer back after they’ve fixed it.  Yes, I did get another computer and was ready to donate my Corsair to the recycling place when Corsair contacted me and said that they would fix the thing.  So, we’ll see how that goes and how long it lasts this time.  It was a great machine and I loved it until it just went south so fast that I didn’t know what was happening.  Hey, I’m not a real tech savvy person either – I worked on computers when they were room sized.

I know that I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my WordPress and WoW to keep my brain somewhat functioning.  Tried watching television and felt like I was going to start drooling and felt somewhat brain dead.  Hehe, nope, I’m a gamer, I guess.

I hope you all are having some fun in Azeroth and hope to see you there.